Lies erode the fabric of our relationships, compromise intimacy, and seize energy from our cells.
Truth unifies and beautifies our connections, generating peace and vitality.
Her name is Liar Lila: a cunning, unintegrated part of my psyche that originated in my child-mind. Most of her transgressions were benign, revolving around gross exaggerations to convince me that I was bigger and better than others. However, she left the most carnage in her insistence to shove uncomfortable conversations, situations, and behaviors under the table. It worked until it didn’t. Eventually, the floorboards began to rot, and this manifested in my system as anxiety and a pervasive sense of unsettledness. Denial permeated my environment.
– Sneaking chardonnay in opaque juice glasses to hide from our young girls on many school nights
– Pasting a smile on my face while complaining internally
– Allowing my femininity to be insulted by allowing myself to be the object of someone else’s frustration
– Saying yes to obligations that bled my personal reserves
– Hosting a diminished pride consciousness, or believing my specialness could fix or rescue someone
The outer work can never be small if the inner work is great. And the outer work can never be great if the inner work is small. ~ Meister Eckhart
What’s not being said is alive and potentially harmful. Perhaps consider crafting a list of what is not allowed to be spoken in your relationships to self and other. Please be reverent and devoted with this list. It is a tender part of you that has had real reasons to hide.
Choose a secret that’s been tucked below the radar and has the least amount of emotional charge anchored to it (the lowest hanging fruit). Select the person that you are holding hostage with it. Ask permission to share. Then, lean down and hoist it up from underneath the table, irrigate it, and place it front and center, amidst the beautiful place settings. Find your feet. Smooth out your breath. Be gentle. Listen well. Practice being undefended.
I believe that the younger people on this planet are wired for higher emotional intelligence than our trauma-soaked, karmic generation. While they may not be able to label our hiding, avoiding, and numbing, these actions create chaos and may live in them as anxiety, confusion, and nervousness. If we do nothing else than leave a legacy based on truth and honesty, then we can rest well and experience relief. Everything else that we achieve, accomplish, and gain in this life will merely be icing on the cake.